From Porn to Praise

Ever since I can remember, I've visited the Durdle Door camp site at least 3 times a year. In fact, I'll ((hopefully)) be going again in 2 weeks ! It's my favourite place on Earth. The grass fields stretch out for miles without end with the horizon as the only limit of view. It's amazing! I feel so free there.

As a younger guy, I loved exploring the depths and heights of God's creation. Finally I could leave Tottenham and see beyond that car across the street. I'd hear sermons on God's Love taking our sins "as far as the east is from the west" and wonder, "is that all?". From that block of flats to the police station? 😂 Now, finally, in these Dorset fields as I climbed our favourite hill - right by Durdle Door campsite - I could appreciate a little more of what that really meant!

Of course, I wasn't saved at the time though. I didn't know The LORD or the depths of His Love. I would gaze for the delight of my iris rather than the praise of His Glory. There stood that beautiful hill, overlooking the glorious blue ocean and sea of green which we called 'Hallelujah Hill'. My Dad named it that, yet, little did he know, I'd climb that hill - not to sing "Hallelujah". But to get the sufficient bars of signal on my phone for downloading my daily selection of pornographic clips. God wouldn't even be on my mind as I climbed the hill He crafted for His glory. I'd be surrounded by His Wondrous works. Yet not see a thing. Selfishly breathing in His fresh, clear oxygen with not a whisper of praise. I'd lift up my hands, not in awe of His majesty, just in hope of a quicker download. It was all for Him, yet I made it all for me. How could I curse the ground He created with my own steps? Yet I did. If only I stood still and saw the salvation of our Lord.

Yet I stepped. Yet I spoke and could not say "Let there be Light". All my words were shifting shadows. In need of His voice yet there was no Silence giving space to it. The winds blew.

Yet fast forward... but a few years... and here I am... returning to the same hill. With that peace, be still. Having seen the salvation of The Lord. Having Him as my Lord and King. No longer longing for splashing in sin, only filled with thirst for the ocean of His Grace.

In awe.